~Ayn Rand
Rand touches on a point that is worth exploring. You have to know and love YOU before even trying to love anyone else.
Have you heard yourself saying any of these things?
“I can’t believe this happened… again.”
“I don’t want to just be friends, I want a girl/boyfriend.”
“I’m sick of playing games. I just want people to be real.”
“Maybe I need to focus on my career right now… love can wait.”
It’s as if you have tried EVERYTHING to find that one person that loves you, and no matter what you do, you can't find love.
Well, here's a little secret about attraction:
If you don't love YOU, you can't love anyone else. Period.
What does loving yourself mean?
BEING AWARE - Knowing who you are, how you act, what you believe, and why you think certain ways. Knowing your boundaries, strengths and weaknesses.
BEING VALUABLE - Recognizing your own worth and the validity of your opinions. Providing value to others because you tap into your individual talents.
BEING YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND - Liking, respecting, and trusting yourself. Treating yourself well. Taking care of your needs.
BEING ASSERTIVE - Confidently expressing your unique "I" in the world. Being proactive rather than reactive and staying true to yourself.
BEING COMMITTED - Acting in accordance with your personal development or spiritual growth. Making "growth" your number one priority.
BEING SELFISH (or SELF-MINDFUL) - Respecting yourself and not tolerating disrespect from others. Neither sacrificing yourself to others, nor letting others sacrifice themselves to you.
BEING RESPONSIBLE - Knowing that you are ultimately responsible for all outcomes in your life, positive and negative, and that you alone make the choices which create your experience.
BEING HAPPY ALONE - Enjoying your own company and using solitude for nourishment to reboot your energy. That way you can share love without getting depleted.
The most important person in your life is you. The person who you love the most in the world should be you! Why not? Who better than you?
"YOU" are the one person you have to spend every waking moment of your life with.
"YOU" are the only person who will be there for you when no one else is.
"YOU" are all you have no matter what.
When you first love yourself, you will give yourself what you need. You will become highly attractive to others because you are coming to them out of wholeness, not out of a repulsive neediness. You will be able to have fulfilling relationships, and you will have no problem ending relationships which don't serve your growth.
The concept is simple, though it isn't easy to learn how to love yourself. It's going to take some hard work. Are you ready for it?
By becoming self-mindful, taking it step-by-step, and developing self-confidence, you can increase your overall happiness in love and life.
All you have to do is FIRST LOVE YOU and everything else will fall into place.
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